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My Age and Getting Divorced

Within the last month, I have seen one of my cousins and one of my husband’s cousins split from their wives. I’ve seen a few other divorces of people my age in previous years: one of my female cousins many years ago and two of my college classmates a couple of years ago. Every time I see a divorce, though, of someone close in age to me, it seems so weird. I don’t feel like I am in the stage of life where friends and cousins are getting divorced. I know half of all marriages end in divorce, so it’s really not surprising, other than when no problems were seen in the relationship. I guess I just think of people my parents’ age when I think of couples getting divorced.

I have no idea of what to say when I see either of these cousins. We’ll see my husband’s cousin next month. Sorry… for the loss of your marriage? … for the breakup? It was for the best. I’m sure you knew that no one liked her or the way she treated you and we were all anticipating this would happen at some point!! (Yeah, probably not that last one.)

Just as some people my age (and younger) have moved on to the parenthood stage of life, many are going to move onto the divorced stage of life. I can picture myself as a parent, but not divorced, and I hope it never comes to that.

Divorce was not listed as one of the characteristics of adulthood, but I would think if you have gone through that you should be mature enough to be real adult. Unfortunately, I now this is not the case for some people who enter their first marriage young and then want out of it. It’s sad, but in most these cases, that I have seen, there are no children between the couple.

Marriage is a real blessing, but it takes a lot of work on the part of both people and checking out is probably not that hard to do.

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30 before 30

A few months ago (well actually over a year ago from looking at some of the items,) I started a 30 things I want to do before turning 30 list.  I love lists and setting goals for myself, so I really like the idea of the 30 things lists (that I have seen a bunch of people do.)  I have a little less than two years before I turn 30!, and I think I set reasonable goals, but also ones that will definitely push me to accomplish some things I wouldn’t if they weren’t put in writing.  So onto the list…

30 Things I Want To Do Before I Turn 30

1. Pass the licensing exam for my career field.  Completed April 2011.  (Getting a professional license in my field is really important in my field becasue it is mostly government work and for liability reasons you have to be licensed in the state that you are working in.)

2. Go to Hawaii.  Completed June 2010 on my honeymoon!

3. Get a second dog.  Completed December 2010 when we adopted BB.

4. Go to Jazzercise.  Completed Summer 2010.  (I got a free pass for a few classes.  I really liked it but we decided to join a traditional gym, so I can’t justify spending the money on different workout classes.)

5. Write a thesis.  (Goal is for October 2011 so that number 6 can happen in December 2011.)

6. Get Master’s degree.

7. Go to Utah or the Grand Canyon.  (I want to combine this with number 8 in April or May of 2012.)

8. Go to Las Vegas.

9. Run a 5k.  (I am currently doing the Couch to 5k training plan – just finished week 8 and signed up for a race benefiting the Melanoma Research Foundation in two weeks.   The last 5k I did was Race For The Cure in 2005…)

10. Get my carry permit.  (to have legally carry a concealed handgun…)

11. Go to New Orleans.  (Hope to do this in November 2011 when my husband has a work conference.)

12. Get pregnant.  (My goal is in November/December of 2011 but I don’t quite think my husband is all for that soon of a timeline.)

13. Stay pregnant into the 2nd trimester.  (I had a miscarriage a couple years ago, and this will be a big milestone.)

14. Go skiing.  (I think this goal is going to be the hardest to acheive.  I spent every winter skiing until I went off to college and haven’t been since then.  I am so sad about that.)

15. Weigh 125 pounds.  (This is lofty, maybe I should change it to fitting into a size 6.)

16. Visit my undergraduate alma mater.  (I haven’t been in 5 years and would like to see it before too long.)

17. Go to the Ornamental Metal Museum.

18. Save an 8 month emergency fund.  (per Suze Orman’s reccomendation.)

19. Get my hair cut short.  (I usually get tired of long hair and thought I for sure would have gotten it cut by now, but I am liking it.  I may have to force myself to do this one.)

20. Color my hair.  (Auburn is what I want.)

21. Start a personal blog.  Completed July 2011.

22. Get a professional certification for my specific area of work.

23. Meet up with my college girlfriends.

24. Do a Rosetta Stone language program.  I am thinking French, which is what I took for four years in college and one quarter in college.

25. Take public transportation to get somewhere in my city.  (Hopefully I can get my husband to do this with me.)

26. Go to New England.

27. Go to a summer movie at the Orpheum, my city’s historic downtown theater.

28. Go to the Zoo.

29. Go to a country concert downtown.  Completed July 2011.

30. Surprise my husband with something.  Completed July 2011 with an overnight trip out of town and going to a comedy club.

I will update this as I get more items completed.  Next month I will get a few of these completed.  🙂

So why be anonymous?

So, I have started this blog/online journal, but I’m putting my name on it.  Why?  Writing has always been very personal for me.  Anything that I write is a reflection of me and so it is really hard for me to be judged by what I write.  Aside from grammar and proper english, it is so subjective as to what is good writing versus bad writing.  That’s probably why I went into the sciences.  There are clear right or wrong answers and if you do the work to get the right answer, you will.  Whereas with writing what one person thinks is written really well, another could think is poorly written.  Not having my name associated with this will hopefully take off some of the anxiety I have about writing well enough, so my writing juices will flow better.  That’s what I am hoping for.  🙂

 

Hello blog world!

Welcome to My Emerging Adulthood!  This is my first blog and I have no idea how I will take to doing the writing side of things (been a reader and commenter for years.)  I hope to have this blog as a journal of sorts (though blogging totally beats a regular old journal, or I think it will.)

So, what’s the title about?  I read a article, about a year ago, about how this new generation of adults hasn’t quite become adults like previous generations have by their mid twenties and thirties.  There were several criteria they listed as defining adulthood: moving out of your parents house, getting an advanced education, starting a career, getting married, having a child, etc…  Lots of current twenty somethings are delaying or not acheiving these milestones of adulthood.  Such as: living with our significant other and delaying marriage, taking six years to get a bachelor’s degree, and moving back home with our parents after having moved out.  I thought the topic was interesting and also the research that they had done on it.  And I liked the phrase “emerging adulthood”…  So there you go and welcome to my blog!